Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize