So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
