Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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