Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
