Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
