Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
