i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
tell me about the fingering
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