So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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