My room smells like vodka and shame
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
We were destined to go to rehab together
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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