reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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