problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
