ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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