Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
