Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Someone shattered a urinal.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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