she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
