everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
