handjob tips. give me some.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize