ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
