yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
