but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize