I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
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