She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
