I'm going to rape someone's good day.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
