I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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