He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize