To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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