I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Princesses don't give blow jobs
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
