It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
