I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
