She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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