Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
We have so much sex to catch up on
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
