Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
