After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
