That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
