a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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