Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
