We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
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