honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
