I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
