your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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