The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
