apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Randomize
