i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
