??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
