I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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