I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
