JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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