MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
This is my gift to your gina
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
