fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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