I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
