i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize
