Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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