I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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