brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Randomize
