you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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