fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
