he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
