u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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