like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
the liver wants what the liver wants
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
