the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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