i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
