omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Randomize
