So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
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