tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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