I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
