The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
