with your own penis?
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
