Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
