Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize