Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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