She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
