Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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