She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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