So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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